Warning: Some swearing, shonen ai, split-personality, complete misuse of Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged Quotes and crack. Lot’s of it.

Chapter 1

Storming along the corridor of their shared apartment, Ishizu headed towards her younger brother's Spice Girl plastered bedroom door. The door was slammed open, pretty much broken off at the hinges and the girl switched on the light. 'Do you have any idea what time it is?!' she cried, waving her hands frantically. 'You have your geography exam in less than two hours!'

In the middle of the clustered room, curled up under the purple duvets, snoring loudly and peacefully was the infamously evil Marik Ishtar, clutching a worn stuffed camel with one arm, his free hand curled in a fist as he suckled on his thumb absentmindedly, deep in his wondrous world of bloodshed and fluffy purple clouds.
At least, until his dearest sister decided to barge in like a shrieking hippo.
Groaning, he pulled the pillow over his head, mumbling nonsense. Screw the fucking continents, who cared? He knew where Japan and Egypt were on the map. That covered the basic knowledge in life.

The boy's older sister narrowed her eyes and stomped over to his bed, wasting no time in dragging the duvet clean off the blond. 'If you're not in the kitchen in five seconds you won't get any pancakes,' she growled, grabbing the pillow, hiding her brother's head and beginning to smack him with it. 'And why the hell do you have pictures of that limey kid plastered on your wall?'

Oh, honestly, stupid females and their stupid loud voices and their - aaack, no, nooot the duvet! Now the lovely purple sky was gone...
"Ishiiiiiiiizuuu..." he growled (whined) intelligently before trying to shield his head with his camel, waving a hand in her direction.”God, don't be such a bitch! And don't you dare call him that!" he snapped afterwards.
Limey kid?
He was pale, dammit, but she can't just call his lovely fluff-uh...acquaintance that name!

Ishizu just smirked, leaning down and poking her bother's head. 'Looks like you have a crush,' she sniggered. 'How cute! My baby brother is finally getting in touch with his feelings.' She then moved to grab the camel in a vicegrip around its soft and fluffy throat. 'If you don't get up I'll lock away the straighteners. You wouldn't want that would you?' she taunted.

Why did she have to put it that way?
Marik grumbled, sticking his chin up a little. "I am quite in touch with my emotions, you hysterical hag." he snorted before his eyes widened and he let out an undignified squeak. "Whatareyoudoing to him?!" he tugged at his camel with a frightened look, sitting up and grabbing a handful of her long hair. "Letgo, let go, he had bronchitis, you insensitive cow!

The girl just giggled. 'You've never shown any emotion to any other human being, little brother. It's incredible you've found someone you like!' And she was in no position of letting go of Marik's precious little camel, even when her hair was being yanked out. She returned the favour, grabbing a clump of her bother's sandy hair. 'How can a stupid little toy get bronchitis?!'

"Human beings are not worth the time. Most of the time. Besides, I don't have a crush on him! I am just going to exploit him and then turn him into a mindslave." he protested before squealing again. "NOT THE HAIR!!" he shrieked before aiming a kick at her. "It's because he was out and the air conditioner blew on him constantly! It's possible!"

Growing tired of this twisted version of a tug-o-war, Ishizu eventually gave up, letting go of the poor camel and her brother's hair. 'Fine, you win,' she sighed, folding her arms. 'Just don't complain when all the pancakes are gone and you can't straighten your bedhead.' And with that she stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her, causing it to this time, come clean off its hinges, landing on the floor with a loud clutter.

Petting the poor, abused toy, he straightened the crumpled fabric out and set it under the covers before wincing as his door crashed down.
That would make this the...fourth time?
This damned month.
The guy was getting suspicious...
Ah well. He was called Steve, wasn’t he?
"Don't eat them all!" he shouted after her. "Or the fact you have a pin-up poster of Kaiba in your closet will spread on the world-wide web we call Internet!"
Alrigght...where was his rod?

The only response that came from that comment was 'La la laaaaa~ I'm not listening! These pancakes are really good~~~' How mature. And she was supposed to be the elder of the two.

"AND THE FACT THAT YOU KISS HIM GOOD MORNING AND GOOD NIGHT EEEVERY SINGLE DAY WITHOUT FAAAAAAAIL!"

'I JUST REMEMBERED I'M LATE TO GO SEE THAT GIANT ROCK AT THE MUSEUM!' she cried, before grabbing her necklace and dashing out the front door, forgetting to even put her shoes on.

"SIS!" he shouted after her before groaning and grabbing a pair of aquamarine stilettos (honestly, he was even lending her his shoes) and rushing after her, down the stairs, barefeet himself. "SHOES!"

Ishizu stopped in her tracks, very nearly falling flat on her face. She quickly snatched the shoes off her brother, sighing. 'What possessed you to buy these things?' she asked, ruffling his hair before darting out of the front door. The giant rock wasn't going to wait for her to stand and look at it for the 50th time that week. It was only Tuesday.

"They were on sale!" he shouted back defensively, crossing his arms. "And at least I have a sense of colour co-ordination! And for fuck's sake, LOOK AHEAD!!"
He knew she could see the cars coming at her before they even went on the road as well as any bird that was going to poop on her...but still!

No used to wearing such high and slutty heels, the Egyptian girl very nearly fell into the road, catching herself on Marik's motorbike that not even AC/DC or Boston can make look cool, knocking the poor thing over. She pulled herself up, eyes wide with fear before waving to her brother. 'I'm okay!'
She felt a hand on her shoulder as the same Limey boy from Marik's wall had suddenly appeared. 'Are you okay, miss?' he asked in his British but totally not gay accent.

Marik watched her stumble with a snigger - before she grabbed his motorbike.
THE obligatory anime motorcycle he had worked his tight leather pants off and brainwashed so many people to get.
And she had-
"MY LOVE!" he shrieked, rushing outside as well, the fact he was still in his PJs be damned., The bike was in danger! "Ishizu you clumsy cow!" he shouted, coming to a halt when he saw just who the hand belonged to.
...oh, fuck!!

Ishizu let herself be pulled up by the white haired boy, instantly recognising him and smiling sweetly. 'I'm fine thank you!' she stated, before dusting herself off. 'See you later, Marik. Enjoy your time with your boyfriend!' And with that she sauntered off around the corner, half expecting the rod to be stabbed in the back of her head.
The white haired boy chuckled quietly. 'Your sister's quite amusing.'

Marik gaped after her before gritting his teeth. "You have fun with your fiancée, the giant rock!" he called after her in a strangled voice before turning his attention back to the putting the bike upright.
"If that's a synonym for completely Martian, then yes. Quite amusing." he grumbled, dusting the bike off.
Oh, God, he was wearing his pyjamas...with the camels on them....

Bakura just giggled, shaking his head. 'No, no, she's just funny,' he replied. 'Aren't you ready for school? We have that geography exam later.' He didn't feel inclined to comment on Marik's choice of pyjamas, but on the inside, his Yami was howling with laughter. "You should have taken a picture!"

"Do I look ready, Fluffy?" he grumbled, finishing in dusting off the motorcycle and wiping his hands on his trousers before shooting the other a small, unintended glare.
Maybe he could brainwash him or something into forgetting...?
"Yes, I know...I just need to get my books and check whether the greedy cow had left me any pancakes or not."

The Brit shook his head, whining a little. 'Don't call me that, Marik!' he cried. 'You know I hate it when the other kids call me it. It's no better when you do it too!'
"But he is right"
Knocking his head roughly, Bakura's eyes narrowed. 'Shut up in there,' he growled before the word "pancakes" instantly got his attention. 'Your sister made pancakes?!'

"Well, it's appropriate." he retorted, poking the other's forehead. "Look at you! I mean, you look like a human Furbie, for fuck's sake!"
You're doing an absolutely marvellous job of fucking up, Binkie boy. Yami Marik supplied in his creepy voice.
He dutifully ignored it, blinking when Bakura knocked his head and growled. "...who ya growlin' at?" he asked before smiling just the slightest at the other's enthusiasm.
But just a little.
Because badass villains don’t smile, and because it was his pancake, dammit.
"Apparently." he mused. "But she said she ate them all too."

He shook his head, rapidly. 'I don't I don't I don't!' he insisted, looking down sadly, pouting. 'I never make fun of you.'
Inside, his Yami was repeating the word "Furbie," the poor lime having to endure more abuse.
'Look what you've started now! He won't shut up!' he cried, pointing to his ring. Bakura seemed to have lost all interest in the possibility of getting a free pancake.

"Did your sister hide the straighteners?" he chuckled slightly, plucking at one of the other's hairs on his head - not pulling it out, of course. No, he wouldn't hurt the little Furby. They were cute, all fluffy...
"That's not...." he started before pausing. Shit. He was right - the limey never...made fun of anyone...really…
"You called me a wanker last week." he said after a pause.
Ugh.
"He won't..." he repeated before blinking again. "Well, tell him I am not gay!" he crossed his arms angrily, ignoring Yami's snorts. "I am not the source he's tracking then!"

Bakura smacked the Egyptian's hand away, glaring at him. 'My sister died, you idiot,' he growled, his hair beginning to rise slightly before he shoved his hands in his pockets, brushing past his classmate, walking off down the street. 'Anyway, I'm late for school. I'll see you later, wanker.'
On the inside, Hikari Bakura was thanking his Yami for taking over at that point.

Masking his wince, Marik dropped his hand, rubbing it slightly as he watched the other walk off to school.
Smooth, Marik. Reeal smooth.
"Memory fallout." he murmured under his breath before sighing and trudging back in the house, dully noting he was still wearing the ridiculous pyjamas...
He looked over his shoulder eyes flashing as he smirked. "Nice horns." he called after him. "Little gaylord."

The only response he received was the white haired male raising a single, middle finger into the air before pulling it back down, hair beginning to smooth down again.

"Classic." he snorted, shaking his head before turning to face the problem of putting his door back properly and getting ready for school, as well as digging the last pancake off the ceiling.
Long story short, it was quite a while until he managed to arrive in school - just as the bell rang.

Bakura had inwardly hoped Marik wouldn't end up showing for school. Was there really a point? Marik wasn't exactly the best at geography.
He shot the Egyptian a cold glare as he walked in before turning away, still slightly angry at him for his crude words from earlier. He really should have told someone about the camel pyjamas as payback...

The other was really being too polite. Marik was absolutely terrible at geography that didn't involve Egypt or remote caved areas of Japan. The only reason he wasn’t failing the class was because he had always asked(begged) Bakura for the explanations.
This really wasn't his day, was it?
He raised a hand before dropping it, shoving his hands in his pockets before contemplating.
Hmm...pride...or some lovely British furbie and maybe even a passing grade?
Ugh, the agony of choice...
Shaking his head, he sat down at his desk (which was, surprise, surprise - right next to the other's in question).

Bakura, meanwhile had busied himself digging through his schoolbag for his geography textbook, cracking it open on a random page and beginning to read. Of course, none of it was going in. He was busy listening to his Yami go on and on about how he could beat up Marik and make him wear the camel pyjamas permanently.
The white haired boy sighed, glancing over to look at Yugi's table. Would you look at that! They were playing a children's card game. Maybe if he got Yugi's attention he'd be invited to go sit with them and be away from Marik....

Marik, on the other hand, was forced to the other sneer on how he was so damned stupid and ultimately blown his very slim chance.
Honestly, this was why you don't go around crushing on people. They are so hard to deal with.
Silly delicate Brit...
Meanwhile, Tea was too busy bouncing up and down, grinning as Yugi (surprisingly) pulled a good move and was in the lead. She was bursting with the spirit and just waiting for a chance to start the longest friendship speech she had ever composed.

Deciding the attention seeking wasn't going to work, Bakura sighed, glancing at Marik, frowning slightly. 'Don't you have something to say to me?' he asked quietly, drumming his fingers on the desk. 'Something that doesn't involve calling me a fluffy furby?'

Glancing up from the atlas (the fact that it was upside down going completely unnoticed), Marik blinked a couple of times before resting his cheek on his hand.
Alright. Trick question.
Don't screw up, you idiot.
Easier said then done!
"...if I say I have a pancake in my backpack, with strawberry jam, and that your hair is absolutely fabulous in all its fluffy magnificence, will you stop playing the iceberg?" he asked eventually, putting on his best smile.
"Please?" he added as an afterthought.

Bakura rolled his eyes. Yes, the offer of a pancake covered in jam was veeery appealing, but the lime wasn't prepared to forgive his classmate until he heard that little s word that would make everything all better. And no, not sex. The other s word. 'I'll ask you again. Don't you have something to say to me?'

Marik was incredibly evil, yes, But unfortunately, when it came to simple things, he wasn't the brightest bulb in the box.
Which might be the explanation as to why to Bakura's question, all he could do was blink his enormous lavender eyes several times, face sincerely clueless.
He was willing to share his pancake.
What else did the other want as proof that he wanted to make up?!

Bakura just rolled his eyes, very nearly flopping his head onto the desk in frustration. How dumb could this guy be?! Maybe what they said about blonds really was true. 'Just say you're sorry and give me my pancake, please,' he instructed, sighing.

...is that what he wanted him to say...?
Sorry?
Oh, Holy Ra, how naive and superficial could you get,...?
"Is the sorry bit really that important to you?" he asked, frowning a little before sighing and reaching in his backpack. "Limey, sorry for taking the mickey out of you for your fluffiness. It's cute. And sorry about being an insensitive dick about your sister."
Hopefully, that was eloquent enough for the Brit to accept...Hahahahaha, the jam didn’t leak out!

He really didn't learn did he? At first, Bakura seriously thought Marik was going to stop at the fluffy comment he was supposed to be apologising for, but nooooo. In another circumstance, hearing that his fluffiness is cute would make blood rush to every part of his face. Instead, he slammed his fists on the desk, hair rising before belting out a loud "SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU WANKER!"

The Egyptian blinked a couple of times, staring at the...thing...that was supposed to be Bakura.
It looked like some hissing wildcat...with horns...
"Excuse me?" he managed, still blinking like he had half of the desert in his eyes before crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. "I'm sorry, hissy wildcat, I don’t know, I was talking to the fluffy British kid. What did you do to him?"

Bakura's eyes widened as he realised what he had just said. He covered his mouth. 'I-I'm...I'm so sorry,' he stammered.
Everyone in the classroom as staring, wondering what exactly had come over the usually quiet and polite Bakura.
You idiot! he inwardly said to his alter ego. Why did you go and say that?!

Frowning a little, Marik gave him a searching look before turning to look at the rest of the class. "Meet the new star of the drama club." he said in his usual dry tone, accompanied by his bored glare. "Didn't your mothers tell you it was rude to damn stare?"
Honestly, poor asshole.
He was being a wanker. Yami Marik replied, irritated. Why the fuck did you go and apologize to him? Fool!

Having all those huge anime eyes on him was making Bakura feel very uncomfortable. Silently, he rose from his seat before heading for the classroom door, bumping into the teacher on the way out.
'Bakura-kun? Where are you going? Class is about to start?' she said sternly.
There was no response other than a cold glare as he stalked down the corridor, well away from the classroom.

Marik made no move to grab onto him - he only narrowed his eyes slightly as he watched Bakura stalk out of the classroom, not missing the cold glare.
Bipolar much?
Yeah, it was right. He never became interested in someone who was remotely...normal.
Why would he have...?
Rising from his seat as well, he slung his bag over his shoulder, brushing past the teacher as well, throwing an excuse of having premenstrual pains over his shoulder before quietly stalling after the white-haired boy quietly.

Bakura had made a beeline for the boy's bathroom, claiming a stall for himself before slamming his head against the door, grabbing fistfuls of white hair. 'Why won't you go away?!' he whispered harshly. 'You keep ruining everything for me!'
"Like it or not, kid, you're stuck with me" came the stern reply. Hitting your head and yanking your hair isn't going to budge me, so you can stop it."

Waiting for about half a minute before very quietly opening the door to the bathroom, Marik found himself a corner where he was out of sight before listening.
He winced when he heard the other's curses and the bangs. Ugh...Bakura shouldn’t be causing himself pain...or ruining his pretty features. It would be a real shame.
And just who the fuck was he talking to?!

He clutched the ring around his neck tightly, staring down at it in disgust. 'What do I have to do to make you go away?' he whispered, giving the item a good shake.
"H-hey! Stop that! Wait! Ryou! Stop it!"
Bakura just grinned, not ceasing the shaking. 'Tell me and I'll stop!'

The blonde was thoroughly confused by now. He patted the outline of the Millennium Rod through his bag absentmindedly, shifting into a more comfortable position.
Really, why would Ryou care about what the fuck he thought?
Nooo, he was not going to go down that track...

"Okay okay...wait a second!"
'No! Tell me now!'
"You've made me all dizzy now, you prick!" Yami Bakura hissed before composing himself. "If you get that faggy friend of yours' Millennium Rod for me I'll stop taking over your body without your permission, okay?"

He really wished Ryou would introduce him to this imaginary friend of his. Honestly, he wouldn’t laugh...he had one when he was very small. He was called Steve and-
Ahem.
Marik sighed and shook his head before deeming the mission useless. He might as well mark this entire mission of associating with Bakura as hopeless.

The offer was tempting...but Bakura was a very honest person and thought that stealing was very wrong and cruel. He never saw Marik without that rod and it was obvious he cherished it. But the poor boy desperately wanted to be free of the spirit. '...I'll try,' he mumbled quietly.
"You better!"
Quietly, Bakura went to open his stall, stepping out and going to wash his hands, contemplating whether it was a good idea or not to go back to the classroom...but his bag was there...urrrgh.

The blonde had exited the bathroom before the white-haired male could see him. He found it pointless to go back to class - Ishizu would castrate him, but honestly. Geography. Without Ryou whispering the correct answer every time he was asked a question...
Equals epic fail and unnecessary embarrassments. A.k.a., a waste of time.
Instead, the Egyptian trudged down the corridor and stepping outside to the courtyard, sitting down below a taller tree that shaded him from the wind. Pulling his bag on his lap, he smiled wryly when he pulled out the pancake. He shook his head.
...well, the birds could have it then. He didn’t want it.

After thinking about it for a moment, maybe getting the rod wouldn't be too difficult after all. He'd mused to his Yami about not taking over his body in the presence of Marik for the plan to work. Yami Bakura had reluctantly agreed before sitting in a corner, playing a children's card game with himself.
The white haired boy wasted no time heading back to the classroom just as the teacher was giving out the exam papers. He was slightly confused as to why Marik wasn't in the classroom. What was his reason for leaving?

Placing the food item, wrapped in its plastic casing, he laid his bag a little further along the roots before resting his head on it, lying on his back.
The weather was so lovely today...
He yawned a little, fishing the portable music player out of his bag and plugging his ears in with a small sigh. Turning the volume up, he checked his watch and closed his eyes.
Forty minutes before everyone finished the exam.

As soon as the exam was over, Bakura wasted no time starting his Marik hunt. He had to get this sorted out as soon as possible. First, he checked the bathrooms, but with no luck. He even stood outside the girls' bathroom for a couple of minutes just in case. However, he eventually spotted the flash of gold that was Marik's girly earrings under the tree in the courtyard.
Once outside he approached the Egyptian. 'You're gonna get into a lot of trouble if you're caught out here,' he stated.

He dozed off for a couple of minutes, moving a little as the Millennium Rod was digging in his shoulder uncomfortably.
However, he cracked an eye open when a shadow fell over him, raising an eyebrow when he identified the speaker.
Ohh, lookie, Limeboy was talking to him?
"Hello there, kitty. How did the exam go?" he asked calmly, moving to pluck his earplugs out.
Might as well be nice and polite. As nice and polite as Marik could get.

He gave a shrug. 'Pretty easy, I guess,' he replied, eyes falling on the rod. He was pretty much ready to run over and grab it before dashing off to the other end of the campus. Marik didn't really seem to be on guard or anything. Maybe rushing this plan was a bit stupid...and with that he sat down in front of the Egyptian. 'Sensei wasn't too pleased you didn't come back.'

"Sensei gave up on me rightfully on the day I told her the capital of England was York." he shrugged a little. "The worst she can do is fail me...which she won't because then she will be stuck with me for another year, or bitch to my sister."
Nothing he couldn’t handle.
"Speaking of bitching, what was that back in the class?" he asked, frowning a little. "No offence, but that's dangerously close to bipolarism. Unless it's, you know, period hormones and mood swings."
Hey, he had them too...

Bakura couldn't help but chuckle slightly. 'Of all the places you could have picked.' He nodded though, at his classmate's reason. 'But if you tried a little harder you might be able to learn enough facts to get through. I could teach you.'
But the comment on his personality switch made him sigh. 'No...it happens...it's not bipolarism...more like some prick is trying to take over my brain and ruin my hair in the process,' he mumbled.

"Well, The US has New York as the capital, so y'know..." he shrugged. "Thought it was logical."
Wait.
There was something terribly wrong with that sentence, wasn’t there?
Oh, damn it...
"Honestly, I don’t see the point." he shrugged, lying back down, crossing his arms under his head. "Wherever you go, there will be maps that tell you what you need to know."
...then again...tutoring by Bakura? Didn’t sound too bad...
Marik frowned a little as the other muttered the last sentence, automatically ignoring the dark sniggering and his Yami's comment on 'How the bucket found its hole at last'.
"....sounds unpleasant." he said at last, looking up at the sky.

'...Washington DC is the capital...' Bakura corrected. Maybe there really was no hope of saving Marik from his doomed failure. He could try...
'But if you know where places are it will be easier to read maps,' he explained.
He cupped his cheek with one hand, sighing quietly. 'Yeah, but he's shut up now. I made a pact with him and stuff.'

"I knew something was wrong..." he grumbled before shrugging. "Yeah, alright, Brit, you win. I know you're right." he sighed, not entirely irritated. He opened an eye again to smile softly at the other boy sitting next to him.
"Pact?" he blinked "Well, nice one. Mine doesn’t want anything I have to offer."
Guaranteed they shared the same fucking body...

Bakura blinked a few times, raising an eyebrow. Wait....did that mean...there was someone inside Marik too? '....W-what do you mean?' he asked.
The idea of finally having something in common with Marik was almost exciting...for some reason.

The other turned his head, frowning a little. "What do you mean, what do I mean?" he repeated before tapping his forehead. "The asshole here, with his creepy voice, who has chosen to rent out the back of my mind without permission. He usually just butts in with stupid comments. Other times...yeah." he shrugged, not really wanting to discuss that in detail. His hand absentmindedly tightened around the Millennium Rod, running his fingers over it almost lovingly.

Without even thinking about it, Bakura lunged forward, eyes wide. He wasn't alone! Marik was going through exactly the same thing! 'T-that's exactly the same thing with me!' he said excitedly. Yes, it was the best subject in the world to be getting excited over...evil spirits taking over innocent bishie's bodies...nice.

Blinking a little as the other's face suddenly loomed inches before his own, Marik stared at the Brit, making a small incoherent noise before smiling a little.
Honestly, he was so cute, all flushed and excited...
Sap.
Shut the hell up.
You need me to get yourself a fuck-buddy? Really, Marik, shameful...
Shut. Up. And no, not a fuck buddy...
"Heh..." he said eventually. "Well, nice to know, I guess...I should have figured. They're pretty unconcerned about the original owner of the body at times."

Bakura nodded eagerly, soaking in every word that fell from Marik's lips like a sponge. 'Yeah, yeah, I get that all the time! The other day I woke up with a weird flag wrapped around my neck like I was some sort of superhero!'
"Limeyman," Yami Bakura grunted.
He grabbed one of Marik's hands holding it tightly. 'It's such a horrible thing isn't it?'
"Stop sucking up to him. You'll never get the rod that way. You’re just creeping him out with your intense gay."

Marik muffled a snort at that, imagining the other in the Superman imitation outfit...
Bakuraman...Britman...Limeyman...one of them had to be right....
"Waking up is the worst." he grimaced. "I don’t even want to know where the asshole got a hold of sparkly black fishnet thongs and stiletto boots, but the makeup was hell to get off..."
At least I have a good sense of style.
As far as sluts go...
Don't pretend you didn’t think your ass looked cute in them...
The Egyptian's eyes widened further however, all coherent thought cut off as the other grasped his hand.
Oh Ra.
He'stouchingmehestouchingme...
"....uh..." he said intelligently, blinking again before swallowing and nodding hastily. "Uhuuuuh..h...horiible..."

Bakura just laughed at the idea of Marik waking up, graced in such clothing. 'It's the whole hair mutation thing I get annoyed with,' he replied. 'I spend ages sorting it out in the morning only to have him mess it all up again.'
"Shut up. It suits you better with horns."
'Listen, since the exam's over, Sensei said we could go home. We could start that tutoring if you're up for it?'

"I knew there was something behind the wildcat thing with misplaced horns..." he mused out loud before nodding. "Hair takes ages to get right in the morning!" he nodded enthusiastically.
Well, Yami Marik learnt it the hard way not to transform his hair much if he happened to take over...
Prissy hormonal bitch.
Marik cocked his head, contemplating before shrugging. "I guess, yeah. I don't have anything to do apart from phone the locksmith. Sister tore down my stupid door again."

'Yeah, but it's obvious you spend more time on yours. Mine just won't stay properly straight like I want it to,' he sighed before letting go of Marik's hand and moving to get up. 'We don't have to go to your place, then. Surely if your sister broke the door she should sort it out, right?'

"Dude, quality deserves to be spent loads of time on," he smirked slightly, petting his hair. He would have struck the Garnier pose, but it was a little difficult sitting down.
He resisted the urge to pout in disappointment as the other let go of his hand, standing up as well.
"Ishizu does not operate on common human logic." he snorted at the suggestion, picking up his bag and the rod, hesitating slightly before thrusting the pancake in the Brit's hands sullenly and looking away.

'Don't say that about your sister. I'm sure she can't be that bad,' he insisted, reaching down for his bag too.
"Ryou....Ryou....Incoming!" came the slightly late warning from his Yami, seconds before the pancake hit him in the side of the face. Bakura was pretty much ready to let his other side take over and beat the gay crap out of Marik before he realised what exactly had been thrown at him. He beamed, taking a big bite out of the pancake. 'Mmmmm...thank you!' he chirped.

"My sister's not bad...I never said that. She's just fucking insane. And not in the good, psycho way." he snorted, dusting his trousers off.
He flinched as the pancake missed target and whacked the other in the face like a floppy dead fish...but relaxed when the other just grinned.
Aws, pecking like a birdie...
Mr Tweetums would be so jealous...
"You're getting jam all over your face." he answered with a small smile before turning to face the road.
Hmm…Limey's house, huh?
Are you going to steal his underwear?
Yami...that's sick.
It's a classic stalker move.
…

The pancake didn't last long. It was gobbled down happily by the white haired boy. 'That's the best thing I've ever tasted!'
"You could have saved some for me..."
Ignored.
Bakura went to wipe one side of his mouth, licking some of the jam off his finger. 'Is it all gone?'

"Well, Ishizu will take that as a compliment." he smiled a little as he watched the other devour the pancake.
Useful information for later...
The blonde, however, paused when the other started licking his fingers, eye twitching a little.
His Yami, slumbering lazily, suddenly shifted, gripping his senses and causing him to shudder a little.
God, you're such a pussy.
And with that, he suddenly leaned forwards, smirk turning for the teasing.
"Nope." he whispered before licking the other's jam-covered cheek without warning, making a small appreciative noise.
Well, okay, Maybe Marik was a pussy, but at least he had good taste in dates...if not clothes.

Bakura only grinned. 'I wonder if I tell her how good they are she'll make me some as a thank you,' he commented.
Now, the next move on Yami Marik's part caused two things to happen. One, Bakura leapt back, not exactly sure what had 1, happened to Marik's hair and 2, made him suddenly want to lick his cheek. The second thing to happen was Yami Bakura instantly feeling protective over his little host and taking control. 'You try that again, prick and you'll regret it,' he growled, eyes narrowing.

"That's one way, I suppose. Sucking up to females is one way of surely getting what you want." he snorted softly. Not exactly good for your pride, but meh.
The other ignored his host's incredulity and babbling, soothing him in the back of his mind.
Heh, honestly, This little wildcat was pretty amusing.
"Relax, pretty thing." he smiled lazily, crossing his arms lazily, tracing the outline of his lower lip with a finger. "I am not going to put a scratch on your host's body." he reassured. "I was merely helping out."
Get back here!!
Oh no. This one looks like fun...

The spirit mimicked the other's movements, crossing his arms too. Pretty? That wasn't exactly an adjective he'd use to describe himself, but it was positive...but he still wasn't buying what this guy was saying.
'If by helping out you mean scaring the shit out of him, you certainly did that,' he remarked.
For once, Bakura wasn't arguing to be put back in control of his rightful body. Instead he was rocking back and forth, eyes wide, repeating the words "he licked me" over and over again.

The other blinked before putting his hand to his lips, looking genuinely shocked for a second before smiling slowly. "Oh I did?" he shook his head, stepping closer to the other boy, shaking his head. "I am sorry, I didn't mean to terrify the little thing…Marik will surely not let me hear the end of it." he smiled lazily before tilting his head. "Then again, in the way you talk, it's as if I had practically raped your poor host just now."
By now, Marik was just clamping his hands over his ears.
He was never going to live this one down.
This was waaay more embarrassing than the thong...

Yami Bakura watched as the other approached, slightly wary of his movements. He stayed put though, preparing himself to punch the other if he got too close. Then he rolled his eyes. 'The kid doesn't even know what sex is,' he replied. 'For all he knows you did just rape him.
Thank Ra little Ryou was still rocking back and forth like he was on a rocking chair and wasn't listening to the outside conversation.

"What, haven't you provided him with the education yet?" he smiled softly, shaking his head in a slightly patronising manner. "I am sure my host will channel my most profound apology through in an appropriate manner."
Hmmm...the other had really pretty narrowed brown eyes...

Yami Bakura simply looked off to the side, scratching the back of his neck. 'Yeah...well...I don't really think it's my place to be teaching him about that sort of thing,' he replied uneasily. Yami Marik was right...why hadn't he taught him about it? Bakura was sixteen and he still thought that babies came from kissing - and not even French kissing.
'And why is it so hard for you to apologise, may I ask?'

"But dear, you're going to be in said body." he pointed out with a small smile.
Not only does that mean he was not going to be getting any, but if someone happened to ill-educate the poor boy, he would get the worst results...
"Oh, I just assumed you wouldn’t believe me." he explained before extending a hand. "Will you?"

'...I don't really understand what you're getting at, but I'll just buy him a book or something,' he shrugged before shaking his head. 'W-wait! He doesn't need to know about it. He's not dating anyone or anything!'
The extension of the hand caused Yami Bakura to raise an eyebrow. He still didn't move. '...Just don't say anything arsey like "OH I'M SO SORRY YOUR LITTLE LIMEY BOY DOESN'T KNOW I WAS MERELY CLEANING JAM OFF HIS FACE".'

"Demonstrations would be more useful.." he chuckled before laughing very quietly. "But honestly, you wouldn't want someone exploiting him, would you? It would be a shame. But it's...sweet...seeing you so protective of your host."
He looked at the other with a raised eyebrow before shrugging. "I am sorry I freaked your host out so much. I didn’t mean to."
There...sincere...ish,

He frowned, imaging demonstrating such an act...nah, maybe a porno video would be a better solution. Kids these days with their pre-filmed sex.
'I-I'm not protective over him!' he protested. 'I just don't want some weirdo like you licking his face...and I accept your apology.'
I don't...

He was just about to throw in some lewd suggestion about being there for a demonstration if needed but decided not to in the end. He would just make the other even more nervous.
"I am not some weirdo." he chuckled before dipping his head a little. "I am glad. It would have been terrible to have gotten off at the wrong terms."
Oh, this was far too much fun.

There was something about this guy...something in the way he spoke. It reminded the spirit of himself slightly...Urgh, what the hell?!
'Well tough. You go licking teenagers and you're a weirdo...I'll drop it for now...' Yeah...he was going on about that a little too much. Maybe he really was getting to protective over Bakura. Time to throw him to the wolves.
A quick shudder and invisible hairbrush later, Bakura was back in control, staring at the deformed Marik in front of him. 'W-wait! No! Don't just leave me with him!'

Alright. As much as he hated admitting it, he did have a point. Licking teenagers he barely knew wad a bit weird...
Then again, he couldn’t use the excuse of knowing the other somewhat through Marik's thoughts and eyes and desires. Yeahhhh.
"As you wish." he said simply with a smile, watching the spirit abandon the obviously terrified host to his own.
He dipped his head hands clasped in a respectful manner as he waited for the other to stop panicking.
"Are you quite done with hyperventilating, child?" he asked kindly.

Bakura wasn't finished hyperventilating. Not even close. At times like this, he really wished he had a weapon or something...The boy grabbed his ring, holding it out, hands shaking slightly. 'D-don't touch me...This thing has spikes....lots of them....' he stammered, backing away slightly.

The blonde blinked a few times at the ring that was suddenly thrust out at him. He looked at the ring (and he swore he could hear Yami Bakura either snorting and huffing in annoyance as the ring was shaken) before holding his hands up.
"I...am terrified. Oh, Lord, please do not impale me on the blunt ends of your necklace." he said with a slight smile before shaking his head. "You might want to stop doing that, child, you're going to make your Spirit companion puke."

If only he had an invisible gun or something just as deadly and magical. Then Yami Marik would be more scared and go away. The ring was still held out as the Limey backed away further, ignoring the other's comments about Yami Bakura. He deserved it, putting him back out with this weirdo stupider hair than Yugi.
'What did you do with Marik?! Where is he?!'

God. What a little fragile thing, Why was he being so nice to him again? He could just mind-crush him into obedience...him and his fancy spirit. Honestly.
"Marik?" he frowned before putting his hands on his hips, promptly ignoring the now shrieking Marik. "He's doing dandy. Although I must say, he's making my ears hurt. His voice, unfortunately, does give him a little super strength,.."
And him a super migraine.

'Bring him back!' Bakura ordered, suddenly finding confidence in his limeyness. 'I don't like you. You can go away. Bring Marik back!'
Yeah...what a mature use of words.
"Well I think he's pretty cool" Yami Bakura remarked, smirking.
Well of course you would...

"Oh, how cruel from such a gentle looking one." he raised an eyebrow before sighing dramatically. "Well, one needs his beauty sleep. Give my regards to your Spirit." With that, he blew a rather provocative kiss to him (Well, addressed to Yami Bakura) and retreated, leaving a very disorientated and agitated Marik in his leave.

Yami Bakura sniggered at the other's act, knowing very well the kiss had been for him. "He's mine. Don't you think about coming onto him."
Yeah...as if Ryou was capable of "coming onto" someone.
Said Brit stepped forward, a very concerned look on his face. '...That's you...right Marik?' he asked warily.

The Egyptian spirit chuckled to himself, dodging any potential mind-bitch-slaps from his host. Those were fucking painful, surprisingly..
You never told me there were such darn cute Spirits around he purred, settling more comfortably.
Marik was about to snap back before he looked blearily at Ryou, blinking.
"Who turned the lights on?" he asked with a groan. "And why the hell do you have two heads?"

Bakura sighed, stepping closer. He was all disorientated, poor thing. He was quite glad that never happened to him whenever his Yami decided to take over - he'd be constantly walking into cars and everything.
'...how many fingers am I holding up?' he asked as he raised three.
"Check his pulse!" Yami Bakura sniggered, mocking the boy's previous words.

Marik blearily blinked at the fingers before sniggering in a low voice, hair rising slightly.
"Don't bother, it's not like he can count." he purred before clutching his head and snapping rather rude insults in his mother tongue that would have left Ishizu's ears bleeding.
Mind your language, Marik; we are in the presence of delicate ears.
" -!!"
*the following ten minutes has been censored.*

And in those ten minutes, Bakura had gradually stepped backwards, away from the argument over...well...Marik's body. He'd really had enough spirits fighting their hosts for one day...it wasn't even lunch time.
On the inside, Yami Bakura was chanting "Fight" over and over again, really hoping the other Yami would come out victorious. Ryou, of course, disagreed.
Lucky children who had their fight scenes censored - Poor Bakura had to watch the whole thing.

In the end, it was a tie. Marik stayed in control of the body, but he was panting and looked as pissed off as Yugi when he discovered Santa was a lie.
Growling and promising him misery and suffering of all sorts silently, he smoothed his hair back, gripped the rod tighter and turned back to Bakura.
"Right." he said breathlessly. "Where the fuck were we?"

Bakura, who was now halfway across the courtyard, just about heard Marik's voice. He hesitantly made his way back to his classmate, fretting all the while. 'Has he...gone?' he asked, shaking a little as he approached the Egyptian.

"As far as gone as he can be." he grumbled before offering an apologetic smile. "Sorry...he's usually not like this...really."
Trust the stupid bastard to flirt with him...
Not him. Not anymore, anyways.
...Ew.
Shut your mouth.
"So, remind me what the hell we were going to do again?"
What was that noise...?

Yami Bakura chuckled. "I wish he was....you've gotta set me up with him, Ryou...that's another task for you."
You can bugger off and stay put like you should.
"But what good is that when I have urges?"
Of course, little Ryou had no idea what kind of "urges" his Yami was going on about, but he thought it wise to not press on the subject.
'Uhm...we were going to my house for that tutoring thing...unless you're not up for it anymore.'

Tutoring...?
Geography, you wise little thing. The exam you so wisely decided to ditch?
Oh, fuck...he'd still need to think of a legible excuse to tell his sister...oh, Ra, she was going to surely skin his little camel...
"No, no, it's all good." he insisted, waving a hand. "It's all good. Set and ready to go. Map's in the bag."
Oooh, privacy, eh?
Oh, nonono. No. I saw him first. You don't butt in!
Well, it's not my fault he holds the other one.
Dear God. What was going to be next? Campfires and marshmallow toasting and Tristan falling out of the sky?!

Bakura smiled gently, tilting his head to the side. 'I'm glad! It'll be a shame if you fail the retake too.' Yeah...limey had forgotten to bring up that little point the teacher had made...oh well. He picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. 'Let's go then.'
Right on cue, a paper aeroplane flew out of their classroom window, striking Marik roughly on the head. 'HAY GAAIIISSS. READ THAT! IT'S A CAMPING TRIP THE TEACHER'S ORGANISED. YOU SHOULD COME TOO!' came Tristan's barney the dinosaur voice from above them.

"If I fail the r..." he repeated before groaning, shoulders dropping. "That accursed subject just won't leave me alone..." he whined before shutting the hell up after a particularly sharp jab from Yami Marik.
Stupid assholes. Him and the maps.
However, he was distracted when the paper came out of nowhere and gave the side of his head a painful smack - causing him to loose his balance - and topple, pushing Bakura to the ground - and ending sprawled right on top of him.
The paper aeroplane scrunched in his hand, he glared at the window. "WATCH YOUR AIM, YOU OAF!" he shouted back before blinking.
Oh, dammit.
What the hell was he doing...?
You're straddling the Limey. Yami supplied with a cackle.
...thanks.

The Brit too, seemed a little surprised by the entrance of the invitation...trust Tristan to make an uneeded scene...a scene that would only get worse as Marik fell on top of him.
Yami Bakura could only laugh at the sight though. He was definitely not helping his host out of this one. He'd helped him too much today.
Bakura blinked owlishly up at Marik, blushing a little. '....Could you...get off me?' he asked hesitantly.
"I seriously thought you said 'get off with me'."
What?
"You'll learn."

Cursing his stupid balancing skills (or rather, the lack of them), Marik blinked down at the Brit - ohmygawd, was he blushing? Oh, so cute, seeing as he was so pale and all... - before feeling his own cheeks heat up.
This wasn’t fair. Seriously. Someone had it against him...
Before he could answer, Yami Marik seized control and grinned down at the Limey.
"Get off? Right here in the middle of the street?" he purred, smirking. "My my, aren’t you a naughty one..."
A second later, Marik slammed a hand over his mouth and rolled off Bakura as fast as he could, dusting his trousers off, coughing awkwardly before pulling the Brit to his feet.
Stupid. Fucking. Flirty. Asshole. Of. A. Spirit.

"Stupid girly bastard..." The spirit grumbled. "I wanted some..." He'd been very prepared to jump right into action. Hell, he'd even began practising his sex face.
Still wide eyes, Bakura let himself be pulled up, glancing around. He really hoped no one had seen what had just happened. '...Marik...I don't understand...did I say something wrong?'
It was almost as if the phrase "get off" meant something explicit and forbidden.

Yami Marik chuckled slyly, much to the other's irritation. Honestly, He had forgotten how fun it was to tease other potential, delicious males. He had a feeling he would definitely like it when the other male got a chance to flirt back.
Meanwhile, Marik was too busy trying not to blush further and figure out what the fuck to reply to that one.
Oh, nothing, sweetie, we're just both a little horny for your sweet little ass.
That sounds about good.
NO!!
"They're just being idiots." he managed in the end, shaking his head. "It's nothing. I don’t get it either."
Liaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar.
"Come on, before Tea launches some sort of friendship speech to get us upstairs..."

Is that true, Yami?
A dark chuckle was heard in the back of his mind. "I'll explain when we get back home...and if you let me stretch my legs a little..."
And leg stretching obviously meant, flirt with Marik's alter ego.
Bakura sighed before heading towards the school gates. 'Let's try and ignore them then,' he suggested. 'What does the paper say anyway?'

Marik swallowed, his explanation obviously not convincing. Well...yeah. He wouldn't have believed himself either.
"Sounds like a plan." he murmured, idly swinging his rod before smoothing out the paper. Sighing, he frowned before handing it to Bakura. "I can’t read his handwriting for the life of me. Maybe you can decipher it..."
It could be some sort of secret British code disguised as common Japanese...or English. He wasn’t sure where they were, it was never made very clear.

He took the paper, smoothing it out a little before beginning to translate Tristan's scribbles. '...The school's organising camping trips for our year so we can bond...and it's supposed to improve our orienteering,' he explained. He was about to go on about how he didn't particularly like the great outdoors when the spirit piped up.
"Ryou! You're a genius! Take your little friend on the camping trip and steal his rod while he's chopping firewood!"
...Do you think that'll work?
"I know it will!"

Marik suppressed a groan as he shook his head. "Spend day and night outdoors locked together with those lunatics?" he snorted, grimacing as Tea's squeals and Tristan's 'Brooklyn rage' sounded through the windows. "Ra, no."
Not even the common bathing in the river sound appealing?
..no.
Damn.

He's not buying it...what do I do?
"Persuade him....hold his hand or something."
Why his hand?
With no response, Bakura sighed inwardly before grabbing a hold of Marik's hand. 'Come on, Marik~ It'll be lots of fun. And we'll be in tents so we won't exactly be outside.'

Something in the back of his mind (partly Yami, who, although just as eager as the other spirit to persuade him into going) was telling him not to rush things. People, after all, especially those whom he liked, cannot be trusted...
Or so said bad experience...
Then again, his sister was always telling him to loosen up. This wasn't Egypt anymore with their crazed father...
"...I guess so..." he murmured in the end with hesitation, looking away for a minute.

"Well done, Ryou. I'll buy you some cream puffs later." Yami Bakura smirked, praising the boy.
Bakura giggled, before letting go of the Egyptian's hand. 'So it's settled!' he grinned, carrying on walking. 'We'll tell the others we're in at school tomorrow!'

(*insert drumroll here* T-B-C.....)