“F-freezing, un…”
Deidara shuddered as he hastily shut the window he so carelessly cracked open moments ago. Burrying his suddenly numb hands deep inside his cloak, he shivered.
“And I thought they said ‘mild frost’?” he shook his head. “More like a second Ice Age, un!”
“Weather report, Deidara-san?” Kisame laughed, passing the shivering blonde.
“Un…” Deidara sighed. “And I’m supposed to go to town with Sasori-danna today…”
“Better take your hatchet with you then…” the blue-skinned swordsman winked. “You might encounter a couple of mammoths…”
“Ha-ha, un…” the sculptor laughed weakly, shuffling towards his shared room with the puppeteer.
Scratching the messy excuse of a ponytail on his head, he silently thanked the inventor of central heating (and Pein for installing it in the bat cav- er, the Akatsuki lair) before diving into his closet, looking for anything suitable to battle the ferocious cold awaiting him outside.
Why did Sasori have to choose THIS particular day to go to town?? It was just one of those days when all the sculptor longed to do was snuggle back under the covers and sleep or daydream until Hidan or Konan banged on his door, shouting (or cussing) that dinner was ready for consumption, and if he didn’t hurry, Itachi scoff all the good things down within half a second.
Deidara often wondered how the Uchiha managed to eat so much dango in one go and not get sick. Must be one of those much-whispered about clan secrets the Uchihas passed on from generation to generation – the ultimate way to eat dango without making yourself sick.
…Yeah.
But there were a very few things Deidara could refuse his Danna. Especially when it was spending a day together outside of missionwork.
With a defeated sigh, the blonde frowned at his attire.
“I look like I purposefully want to die in pneumonia, un…” he grumbled critically, poking at his net shirt and capris. Going out in the Akatsuki cloak was out of the question.
“…looks like I have no other choice.” He sighed, reaching for a box buried underneath a mass of scrolls and clay pouches.

Brushing the stray snowflakes caught in his hair, Sasori knocked on the closed kitchen door. It was opened by an extremely high-spirited Hidan.
“Yeah, fucker?” he grinned.
With a raised eyebrow, Sasori blinked at the unnaturally pleased Jashinist.
“Are you high, have just sacrificed the entire organization or just happy?” he inquired carefully. To his surprise, instead of snapping and slamming his fist into the redhead’s face, Hidan laughed.
“I am teaching ‘Kuzu how to cook!” he chuckled. “Seeing his face when he screws up is just fucking hilarious, man!” He screwed his face up in mock rage and began waving his hands about. “I will damn sue the bastard who made this!” he growled in imitation of his stitched-up partner. “We paid a fricking fortune for this! How come in only has THREE combinations?!”
Suppressing a smile, Sasori nodded. “Tell him good luck. And for the love of all that’s holy, don’t let him see how much we’ve spent on the new microwave.”
“Will do. See ya, ‘Sori.” The violet-eyed man winked before retrieving back into the kitchen.
Laughing under his breath, the puppet master strolled down the shadowed corridor. He stopped outside his shared room with the sculptor.
Knocking softly on the mahogany door, he called “Dei? You ready? Can I come in?”
“…yeah, un!” came a hasty reply. “Just…don’t laugh.”
“…eh?” the redhead frowned, turning the knob. Peeking in cautiously, he immediately turned away as he caught sight of his partner, palm stuffed into his mouth to prevent himself from shrieking out loud with laughter.
The blonde rolled his eyes. “Very mature, Danna, un…” he grumbled, voice slightly muffled by the large scarf wrapped around his neck and halfway through his face.
“I’m sorry, sorry!” Sasori hastily wiped his eyes. He poked at the striped fabric. “Where the heck did you get this from, Deidara?”
“Konan gave it to me, un. As an early Christmas present…” the sculptor relied. “Except it’s about twice as long as it should be.”  
“Konan can KNIT?” Sasori echoed in disbelief. He was shocked upon finding out the hardcore feminist could COOK. Now knitting as well?
Next thing you know, the origami mistress will be giving tea parties, for all you know…
“Yeah. But who taught her is even more disturbing, un.”
“…Leader-sama?”
“NO! Not THAT disturbing. But leave it, un.”
Swallowing his curiosity, Sasori quickly moved to hug the miffed blonde. “Oh come on, don’t be mad. You just looked funny, all wrapped up like that.” He whispered soothingly into the crook of the other’s neck.
Sighing with resignation, Deidara wrapped his arms around the redhead. “I know, un…”
He broke away to retrieve his clay pouch. He quickly bounded after the redhead.
“You’re not cold, Sasori-danna?” he asked, pulling his scarf tighter around his neck. He glanced down at the small, clattering teeth on his palms. “Even my hand-mouths are complaining, un…”
“I don’t particularly feel it…” the redhead shrugged, watching the little mouths with amusement. “You’re going to freak everyone out with that mysterious clattering noise in town, you know.”
“That’s the least of my problems, Danna…” Deidara blew his fluttering fringe upwards, his breath coming out as a small cloud. He glanced at his partner’s thin clothing with a small pout. “I envy you, un.”
“I can always turn you into a puppet, Deidara. Then you won’t feel cold either.”
“…I think I’ll pass, un.”
“You sure? Now that it’s cold, it’s easier to do it because the insides won’t go bad so fast…”
“I said NO, Sasori-danna!!”
“That’s such a pity. I was hoping to make another puppet. I haven’t found someone to disembowel for so long…”
“That’s it. I’m sleeping in the kitchen tonight, un!!” Deidara hurried ahead.
“Dei!” Sasori shook his head, hiding his grin. “Joking!”
“When it comes to you and your puppets…I wouldn’t be so sure!” Deidara snorted with mock panic.
“I wouldn’t do it!” Sasori fastened his pace slightly. “Besides…I can’t use your explosive attacks properly. They would completely ruin the puppet.”
“Don’t even go there, Sasori.” The sculptor warned, poking him on the shoulder. “Not unless you want a little explosive surprise for Christmas.”
Recalling last year’s present, Sasori glared a little at the blonde. That little innocent looking scorpion sculpture turned out to be one very chakra infused bomb. It exploded when the redhead picked it up – vaporizing his arms and half of his body too. The rest of the organization still cracked up this day when someone bought up the event, the photo of an armless and enraged Sasori chasing a hysterically laughing Deidara around the lair stuck up on the fridge.
“Admit it!” the blonde laughed, shaking the snow out of his face. “It was funny!”
“I didn’t see you laughing when YOU lost both of your arms, brat.”
“YOU of all people should know never to pick clay sculptures up, especially if they are from me, un!” Deidara stuck his tongue out triumphantly.
Opening his mouth, the redhead gaped like a floored fish, stuck for a retort.
“Your FACE, Danna!” Deidara shrieked. With a gleam in his eye, he suddenly stooped down and grabbed a handful of snow – and without hesitation, slammed it into the puppet master’s gaping face.
Spluttering, the redhead coughed, blinded by the icy white powder. He wiped at his eyes furiously. “You little-“
He was answered by joyful laughter, and another load of snow slamming in his face.
“Too slow, Danna!” Deidara called, ducking to safety from the redhead’s response attack. “And your aim sucks, un!”
Sasori growled, staggering up. The blonde quickly turned his heel and began running the opposite direction, his ponytail and scarf trailing behind him.
Suddenly, an enormous lurch on his scarf pulled Deidara backwards. Loosing his balance, the sculptor toppled backwards with a cry. His back slamming into the snow, he gaped in confusion.
In a flash, his partner towered above him with a sly grin. “Gotcha” he breathed, smirking.
“Oi, un…” the sculptor protested weakly. “Cheater.”
Sasori only smirked and leant lower, rubbing his forehead against the sculptor’s chilled one. “Looks like that long scarf of yours is useful for something after all – other than keeping you warm…” he breathed.
Shuddering, Deidara tried to look offended. “Let me up…” he struggled weakly against the puppet master’s firm hold.
“No…” the redhead smiled, caressing the side of his partner’s face. The sculptor’s blonde locks were scattered across the snowy ground, their breaths coming out as short puffs in the frigid air. The wind seemed to have calmed down, only blowing occasionally across the frozen, abandoned land.
“Danna…let me up.” Deidara tried again.
“No…” Sasori repeated softly.
“Seriously, un. I’m getting cold.” The sculptor motioned to the icy ground. A hot breath traced across his cheeks, cutting his protests short.
“Then I’ll warm you up.” The redhead offered before capturing the blonde’s lips. The other groaned quietly, returning the gesture. The redhead’s tongue slid over the sculptor’s, engaged in a fiery battle. A pair of arms snaked around the puppeteer’s neck, pulling him closer, exploring his partner’s mouths, shuddering at the warmth and comfort he sought.
The wind blew again, swirling the falling snowflakes around the two lip locked males.
After a few moments, Sasori broke the contact. Nuzzling into the gasping blonde, Sasori smiled softly.
“Warmer?”
“Y…yeah, un…” Deidara smiled back.
Slowly, the puppet master clambered off the blonde. He pulled him to his feet.
“Come on, let’s get going. Otherwise, we’ll never reach town.”
“Un…” the sculptor nodded, pulling the long scarf tighter around his neck.
“…Deidara?”  
“Yeah, Danna?”
“Just who did Konan learn to knit from?”
The sculptor began to smile uncontrollably. “You don’t want to know, un. You’ll wet yourself.”
“I highly doubt it. Come on!” Sasori shoved the other in the ribs impatiently.
“Well…”

“Konan?!” Pein stared at his partner in disbelief. Dropping his coat, he stood rooted in the doorway. “What the HELL are you doing?”
“I’m KNITTING.” Konan replied, staring fixatedly at the pair of knitting needles in her hand.
“I…can see that.” The ginger-haired leader replied, eyeing the half-finished garment at the end with wide eyes. “I wasn’t aware of the fact you COULD knit…”
“Neither was I!” the kunoichi replied cheerfully, clacking the needles with a maniacly happy smile. “Not until last week, hun!”
“Because last week you…” the leader cautiously asked, expecting something shell shocking.
“Oh, Zetsu taught me!” Konan exclaimed. “He is such a natural! You should see how fast he knits sweaters for all his little plants! It takes ME ages to knit a scarf alone!”
“…”
“Pein?” the cerulean-headed warrior peeked over her wooly masterpiece with concerned eyes. “Honey, what’s wrong?”
“…I think I’m mentally scarred.” The other croaked. “I’m going to burry myself in some paperwork now.”
Konan blinked after him. “If you’re stressed out, you can always knit, you know!” she waved the needles in the air after his retrieving back. “It’s very relaxing!”
Her only answer was the sound of the infamous Leader banging his head into the nearby wall.

“You’re joking!”
Spluttering with laughter, Deidara shook his head. “I’m s-s-serious, un!”
“Zetsu. The cannibal, Zetsu. The schizophrenic, maniacal, plant-loving psycho who talks to himself and eats people. He knits?”
“Yes!!” the blonde nodded, chuckling. “Apparently he started because one of his little Venus Flytraps caught a cold.” Cupping his steaming mug in his numb hands, Deidara huddled closer to the puppet master.
Sasori shook his head in disbelief. “This is too much to take in.”
“Shakes the core of the foundations of everything you believed in, un?” the blonde snickered.
“Pretty much…” Sasori rubbed his forehead.
Rubbing the top of his head into the redhead’s neck affectionately, Deidara purred “Don’t think bout it too much, Danna. You don’t want to overboil that head of yours.”
Glancing at Deidara, Sasori nodded. With a little smile, he began fingering the scarf.
“You know what?”
“What, un?”
“I think Konan purposefully made it this long.”
“How come, un?”
“You know her evil mind. She might have been scheming something like this happening.”
Deidara snorted, taking a sip of his drink. “I doubt it, un. She most probably got so lost in the process she just realized it was long enough too late.”
Sasori snickered in a low voice before pulling on the end of the scarf, and with it, his partner’s face closer to him. He quickly snatched another kiss, spiced with the sweet aftertaste of cocoa from the blonde.
“Whichever way…” he smirked, “I’m beginning to like this oversized scarf of you’re a lot.”
With a new-found blush across his pale face, Deidara placed his hand on the hand holding onto his scarf.
“So am I, un” he grinned.
Maybe I can get Konan to knit him a scarf too…?
So I can get a little even, un.